I am who I am. I am me, and I cannot act in a way that’s different from how my mind informs me to act. In other words, I cannot forcibly change who I am. I am me. And you are you, and it’s preposterous and unprofitable to invest time and brain power trying to change who you are. Now, I’m not saying that people don’t ‘change’, but what I’ve come to realize is that true change is only that which happens organically, naturally, that which happens as a result of learning over time from experiences and a natural adaptation to one’s environment and reality. We must always try to act rationally considering our circumstances and this effort should be to the best of our ability and immediate discretion. When we do this we precipitate the initiators of change. But, I ‘couldn’t’ decide to change. Me is all I know. How do I change from that? It’ll probably be a futile adventure; a misadventure perhaps. Time, resources and opportunity expended on a cause that’ll take me back to square one. Attempting to change is similar to fighting nature; you’d never win. So, don’t ask me to change; don’t ask anyone to change. In-line with the theory of Natural Selection, we all will adapt; we all will change, overtime. Hopefully this change will be timely, but even if it isn’t, who’s to decide if it was timely or not? People don’t necessarily change, the circumstances around them do and then they act/react smarter. But, that’s my opinion. I’m probably wrong but have you really changed over the past few years? Think about it.
Relationships are good; very beneficial. As social beings we must coexist with others and be a part of some type relationship for our emotional and mental health, but relationships also bring about a lot of complexity which gives one a lot to contend with; sometimes too much to contend with. Nothing really is ever so simple and straightforward when it comes to relationships; it’s either you overthink things or you just don’t think enough. Everyone wants what they want and you cannot satisfy everyone and can never really fully satisfy anyone because needs change. So, they say you need to adapt but the act of compelling yourself to change goes against the very nature of who we are as humans, our natural instincts of/for self preservation, and so if the situation you are trying to adapt to does not bring about learning or growth, the exercise of adaptation becomes a chore that will either slowly bend you or quickly break you and make you snap. So yes, relationships are good, very beneficial; but if you don’t make a success of it, don’t break your head. Who’s to say one relationship is successful over another? But then, that’s my opinion.
Smoking is bad for you; or is it? If you are like me and have never smoked before, you probably need to get past your fears of burning your throat and take a drag. But if you do, don’t get hooked. Our behaviors are formed from habits and habits are creations of what we do continuously. If I were to say smoking is bad, I’d probably just say it’s a bad habit … that should be dropped. And that’s because I don’t see what the benefit is to smoking, and that’s probably because I’ve never smoked before, or maybe because there really is no benefit. Some say it calms you; but if you want to be calm go read a book or eat some sweets or work out or stop running away from your own shadow. Some say it helps with bowel movement but how did you move your bowels before you discovered cigarettes? Not everyone who smokes has/will have lung cancer but if you do smoke you can get lung cancer; so why do you want to have lung cancer? Yeh, smoking a cigarette looks cool but so does wearing nice tailored clothing and looking sharp. So why smoke? I don’t see the point, but then that’s just my opinion.
I drink (alcohol) once in a while but when I don’t, I don’t remember that I haven’t. Let’s put aside what they say about red wine being good for the heart and let’s talk about real hard liquor. Why do I drink sometimes? Well, it’s the social thing to do and it helps me blend in sometimes within a group depending on the occasion (yeh, I sometimes do that but I make sure the occasion is worthwhile). But some hours later, I feel like crap because I have a headache, and sometimes I can’t even move my bowels (maybe I should have taken a cigarette in those occasions). Also, the time used in recovering is time that could have been spent doing other productive things like thinking (someone accused me of always thinking; I wonder what else I’m meant to do with downtime). Drinking facilitates your progress on a journey towards mind-carelessness i.e. being free of mind and not having any worries, but it also puts you on the same lane with being foolish. These only happen when you drink excessively but if you don’t drink at all, you’d never be in that lane but that’s not a guarantee that you won’t do stupid things. But at least try and ensure you take yourself off one path that surely leads to inebriation. There’s no point to drinking hard liquor, but that’s just my opinion.
Work hard. Hard work is the only way. Yes, work smart, but if anyone tells you to work smart and not to work hard, they don’t know what they are talking about. Working smart allows you to do things quicker such that you save time but the time saved must be used in doing something else; because there really is a lot to be done i.e. if you have ambition. Don’t forget that there are a million people trying to develop the same product you are working on, trying to reach the same market you are trying to penetrate and so the only thing that’ll keep you ahead is when you do more (of the right thing). So, by all means, work smart, but also work hard. If your work does not increase your stress level then you are not doing enough; you are not expending yourself to the best of your ability. Get to work and stop trying to be a smartass. It upsets the rest of us. And no, this is not just my opinion, this is fact.
I promised myself some 20 years ago that I’d always do what it takes to look like a man i.e. to project a posture and stature of strength and masculinity as I think all men should and this has led me on a journey, of which I fearfully see no end, of working out. Yeh, I work out every so often and one of the things that makes me unhappy is when I’m not able to work out. Quite sad you may say, but I don’t care; man-up and go work out! Yes, I know that’s not what being a man is all about but for whatever reason, I am very appreciative of those who are aware of the need to take care of their physical self and do the work to achieve some level of care for their body. I actually tend to rely more on those who diligently work out as there’s a sense and level of discipline that’s associated with working out. There’s no cutting corners when you really do work out and I think this translates to other parts of one’s life. Working out also makes you feel good; don’t get me wrong, you look good for sure (and are healthier) but on the inside you actually feel good. It’s counterintuitive to work out because you are going to punish your body and your mind/brain doesn’t want that. Your mind tells you that you are crazy; your body doesn’t want to get up at 4 am to hit the gym but trust me when you kill that first set you feel alive, and when you are done, you are glad you came (just like at church). But just like in everything else, be abstemious and don’t overdo it. However, you must do something. Be a man! But that’s just my opinion.
Sex. Aaah sex. If you can avoid sex, do so, but if you must have it, let it be worthwhile (for procreation or healthy recreation). Inordinate sex is a no-no i.e. sex just because there is sex to be had. I have talked about how best to utilize sexual energy here but I’m sure most people don’t know what I’m talking about or they have chosen to ignore and that’s because most people are silly and look for instant gratification, and sacrifice short term pleasure for long term goals. Now, I’m not advocating that you don’t have sex (the pleasure that comes from the culmination of the exercise is experientially fulfilling even though I think the expulsive force that comes with that experience is meant to drive your soldiers to go make babies, or maybe not, else how do you explain the same effect in a woman?) but what’s the benefit of avoiding it (when you can)? Sex saps your energy and leaves you drained (if you are a sexual athlete) and just like with alcohol, the recovery time can be used for other productive endeavors. And when you think about it, what’s the real purpose of casual sex? It only helps to satisfy a feeling that overcomes you but if that feeling isn’t satisfied, you won’t die. If it gets satisfied, you certainly lose energy, maybe lose weight, and surely lose money either now or later. So what’s the point? But aaah sex, it must be had or else … or else what? You fill in the blanks for yourself but if you can avoid it, do so. But then that’s just my opinion.
All the opinions shared are true reflections of how I see life and it’s important that you form and share your own opinions towards refining them and eventually refining yourself (change?). Of course, in life there are no guarantees; that you work hard doesn’t mean you’ll be successful but if you don’t work hard you’d never be successful (that’s a guarantee) but what is important is that you learn and grow and become a better version of you everyday (and not beat yourself over the head because of failed attempts to try and change). I am who I am. You are who you are. I have ‘created’ and molded myself to be this way and the final product or end result of my being will be represented by the things I do that are remembered, the things I have said that resonate with others, and this blog (as long as the internet exists and I am able to pay for hosting). But is this me the best it can be? Is this me good? Is this me great? Is this me a successful result of utilization of resources and opportunities I have been ‘given’? Depending on who I ask, the answer may be yes or it may be no. But if I were to ask me, I’d say I’ve tried. And I’ll keep on trying. But for now and right now, I am who I am.
Mmh….deep. 👌🏼 I think You have a beautiful heart ,though a tough one 😀. I truely love every bit of this write up. God bless You.
Thanks for your views and comments! I appreciate the feedback …
Another beautiful piece.