All’s Fair in Life, Love, and War

All’s Fair in Life, Love, and War

Most times the consequences of our actions are bitter pills we have to swallow but they are only a manifestation of how we have spent life; how we have spent time. Everyday, things we do or say build our legacy; they form the things that the world will remember us by; will know us for. Whilst not being easy, it’s important to stay true to what you believe in and not let emotions make the worst of you. Sometimes what seems logical may not be fair; what seems obvious may not be true, and when we act with only our logic and our truth at those times we only end up creating situations we later wish we can reverse. But there has to be a better way to live with little or no regrets; a sure way to make each day count towards writing a story that we’d be proud of so that new year look backs are not packed with regret or hurt.


So what’s the best way to live? They say live as though today will be your last but live with love. But how easy is that? I have tried, in my own way, to live fairly and act with love but my definition of fair and my expressions of love are usually different to what others, especially the recipients of my actions, understand about those concepts. So the result is often friction-full, generates heat that burns us both, me especially because it seems I never learn from my lessons. So what’s the best way to live? As a christian, like christ did? But that may be easier said than done especially if one didn’t have christ in him on time. So what’s the best way for me to live?

I have to renew my mind in order to regain control of my life. All actions are borne out of impulses generated through and from the mind. I have to first identify those things which I must correct. This will happen through reflection. Reflection is good. Reviewing the past year has its positives but how does one take insights from experiences and translate these insights into a workable plan? New year resolutions don’t exactly work, or do they? Maybe for some. I think the reason is that if you choose to make a plan because its a new year rather than because you have come to a realization of a need to change your ways, your resolution or plan would die an early death. But something still needs to be done. Actions need to be taken to redirect life towards a more desirable path. I have not made new year resolutions but I certainly don’t plan to let the next 52 weeks go by without correcting bad habits. So what have I done? I have identified these bad habits that I really must let go off because they are poisoning any substance that is in me.

I can be quite impulsive. I am sometimes harsh in my response to others. I am largely impatient especially when I “see” no reason why I should wait. I sometimes don’t take my own advice and put play before work. These habits must go; these habits must be replaced. I can’t replace them with new year resolutions because there’s no singular action I can consciously implement to tackle each habit (or is there?) But I know that if I’m able to reprogram my mind I should successfully get rid of those habits. So, everyday, I’ll ask myself about those things. The exercise would be similar to carrying out a daily review, so if I have a new year resolution, it’ll be to carry out a review of the day’s activities, everyday. I might not be successful in doing this but to increase my chance of success, I have set a reminder somewhere so that I am prompted at different times during the day to check myself before I wreck myself. I believe that with daily reflection I can renew my mind. Personally, I don’t like failure and so if my reviews come up short with me performing poorly, I should naturally want to correct the situation and do better at the next review. I want to change my life; I want my name to be mentioned and it leaves a sweet taste in other’s mouths and with no animosity in their hearts. What are you doing to improve your story? Maybe if you leave a comment on what you are doing, we can learn from each other.

All is fair in life, love, and war. We are the consequences of our actions. You reap what you sow. Make sure you have the right seeds with you at all times (good habits). Make sure you identify the best soils (surround yourself with great people and avoid situations that add no value to you) so that you won’t be surprised at harvest time. We can choose to avoid reality, but we cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.


  1. I sat in a hotel room on the first day of January and decided I had had enough. I was a far cry from the woman I wanted to be. I knew her, had seen her smile, glimpsed her here and there, but had never fully been her. I began to understand that I wasn’t going to become this person by accident, but on purpose.

    It was not a new year resolution, but the new year is a good place to start as any. Some days are good, some are we could have done better kinda days. What has often helped is taking a personal inventory of my day. I love who I am becoming. I admire her courage, her grace, her resilience. The only regret I have is that I waited this long. I was made for this.

    Thank you for this article and for reminding us of what is important. I noticed your writings are becoming few and far between. Don’t stop writing. Keep the good working.

    1. Thanks for the comment! We are who we are because of choices we make and each day brings with it an opportunity to reflect and make a decision to ensure we are a better version of our today’s self tomorrow. Without reflection, there is no realization. Without realization, there can’t be growth. But realization must always be followed by action.

  2. I am That woman who constantly reviews herself (lifestyle, habits & the likes) but this year i Have done quite badly With taking my own advice. As usual we are in a season of reflection and i have spent the past days in december reflecting on how well i have done with Me. I realised I Have Focused More On Ensuring I Create An Impact In My Immediate Environment And Given Less Time Or Better Still Wasted The Time I Should Spend Enhancing Myself With Futile Distractions especially on social media. That being said, my focus Henceforth would be to take my own advice and constantly review ME. If i had constantly reviewed or reflected on me i definitely would have done better with myself by now. As much as i caught up with this post late, it is quite timely and a masterpiece. Thank you for sharing as always.

    1. Thanks! Doing what is expedient isn’t always easy; by nature, we have a proclivity to just be ‘easy’ versus will the body to go against this natural tendency. But, we must consciously apply ourselves to doing what we have identified as beneficial so that it becomes a habit and gradually refines us into being who we have envisioned for ourselves.

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